From the Past

I hate being utterly taken by surprise and then not knowing what to do. Lynn just called me. I haven't spoken to her in months. Since January 13^th, to be exact. She needed to get my address because she still has something of mine, but instead of just asking, she tries to have this conversation. I don't know what the fuck to say to her. She hurt me so badly, by barely talking to me for a few months up to that point as it was. I can't handle it when people just don’t talk to me for long periods of time. I hate it. And after all of that … she was talking to me like she expected everything to be okay. Just chatting like we'd talked last week, like we hadn't had a falling out the last time we'd spoken. Then commented on me sounding down. Of course I sound down. Everything sucks right now, in a major way. But why the hell should she care? Further, why the hell should I let her? It's hard enough for me to talk to people that I do know, and that I do talk to on a regular basis. But someone I haven't spoken to in ages? No. I'm sorry, but no. My phone cut out, and died, and she didn't call me back. I didn't call her back. And I just stood on the porch for a long moment, just staring. I couldn't even think of what to do or say or think or anything. It's bad enough that everything else has been so crappy; I don't need this reminder from the past making it that much worse. I don't. And on that optimistic note…